Summer Vacation Ukrainian Style

Tourism

Rumor has it that a tiny stretch of territory on the northwestern corner of the Crimea has started to take on the appearance of Las Vegas. Only scarier and with more drugs, if you can believe that. It seems that scores of Techno fans have fled the clubs of Moscow and Saint Petersburg to establish here at the Black Sea, every summer, a republic, for which it stands, well, nobody is really quite sure yet (ecstasy maybe?). Their republic “has borders, but does not have territory, being a state, that from time to time changes its location.” Sure, I know, this sounds a lot like California, but there are some subtle differences here people.

Take their government, for instance. It seems to be working. Their party is a Party within a party, so to speak. They have drafted and implemented a functioning constitution. But perhaps even more peculiar than a working government is the fact that The “PreZident” of KaZantip, in all of his infinite wisdom, has taken it upon himself to appoint a MiniZter of Happiness. Now I haven’t been to The Republic of KaZantip yet. I’m not going there, either, come to think of it. But if this idea with the MiniZter of Happiness ever catches on over here I’m moving to North Korea.

There are said to be over 300 DJ’s in action at this place, cranking out Techno and House music twenty-four hours a day – from July 23rd to August 20th. You MUST have fun here. Otherwise you will be asked to go back to Burning Man or Ibiza or the set of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Your job is to get ecstatic (insiders say dance is sex here) and not to worry about politics. That’s what all the Beatniks and the Hippies and the Punks did. And look what happened to them. The place certainly seems to be in flux, in more ways than one, but its current location, no bigger than that (in)famous Woodstock farm and practically deserted all year, is next to one of the most beautiful beaches on the peninsula. There’s no doubt about it. The Virtual Republic of KaZantip has to be one of the most hedonistic states (of mind) in the world. And that’s probably why they put a wall around it. A wall? Hello? No joke. “The Republic is protected from the evil, terrible and absolutely not perfect outside world by an Iron Curtain, behind which the Great People of The KaZantip Republic live happily.” And the natives (the real ones) don’t seem to mind, either. Tourism is still the only means they have of making money around these parts.

Speaking of money, a permanent one month “viZa” will set you back 40 Euros, the whole thing is primarily financed through the sale of food and drinks, and although everybody is against globalization here, of course, they also get sponsoring by Coca-Cola and Philip Morris.

Please note that if you are planning to stay longer than 90 days you will need a visa with an “s”.

And by the way, a “brother state” is said to be in planning somewhere in Vietnam.

Questions? Me, too. But for whatever else this republic may stand, write your Zenator or take a look at http://www.kazantip.com .

Leave a Reply